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Al Qaeda in Iraq -- Now with Locations in Sweden!
by Mac Johnson [scientist, author 9/19/07]
Unsatisfied with being at war only with the United States, Israel, Christianity, Kurdistan, Hinduism, Russia, Buddhism, Shiites, Judaism, Yazidis, the Iraqi Government, the United Nations, animism, the Saudi Government, Kuwait, atheists, agnostics, Jordan, and (most probably) Shintoism, this week Al Qaeda in Iraq declared war on Ikea. Yes, the Swedish purveyor of furniture and other accoutrements for those who have recently exited the dorm room and entered the “starter home” phase of life. That Ikea.
Keep in mind that Al Qaeda in Iraq is allegedly the undefeatable terror force that the media would have us surrender to in Iraq. I mean if they’ll take on Ikea, what chance do the Marines have?
Contributor
Mac
Johnson
Mac
Johnson is a freelance writer and biologist in Cambridge,
Mass. Mr. Johnson holds a Doctorate in Molecular and
Cellular Biology from Baylor College of Medicine. He
is a frequent opinion contributor to Human
Events Online. His website can be found at macjohnson.com |
Why Ikea, you ask? Well there are two possibilities. One is that Al Qaeda in Iraq is rapidly running out of common enemies and alleged outrages from which to defend the Iraqi people, who are deserting their bloody banner in droves. And the other is the explanation that Al Qaeda in Iraq gave in their recent audio release to the media: some Swedish artist drew a naughty picture of Mohammed, so Al Qaeda is going to avenge the honor of the Muslim world they so often bomb, by a) killing the artist AND his editor, and B) making the government of Sweden apologize for the actions of any and all Swedes deemed offensive by Al Qaeda. And if the government won’t apologize, then Ikea gets it.
No more assembling an entire kitchen with a single disposable allen wrench for you, Crusaders. Take that! And its not just Ikea at risk here. The exact threat against Sweden was:
"We know how to force you to retreat and apologize and if you don't, wait for us to strike the economy of your giant companies including Ericsson, Scania, Volvo, Ikea, and Electrolux."
Seeing as Electrolux makes vacuum cleaners and washing machines, I’m not sure Al Qaeda could boycott them and have anyone notice. So perhaps they could drive a Volvo bomb into an Ikea and set it off with an Ericsson phone. After all, it’s not as though Al Qaeda could bomb anyone using their own culture’s technological prowess. Suppose a Swedish extremist wanted to threaten the most successful giant companies of the Arab world. What would that list be again? “Submit, or else The Swedish Defense Brigade will strike ‘The Tribe of the Two Sheiks’ brand hummus display down at Kroger!”
Also, take a moment here to compare and contrast Al Qaeda with the evil Western World they claim to fight on behalf of all Islam. We worry about civilian casualties occurring in the same safe house we target to kill Al Qaeda suicide bombers. Their thought train runs along this track: unknown Swede expresses banned thought, randomly bomb everything associated with Sweden. The only thing they forgot to threaten was “The Swedish Chef” from The Muppet Show. This is a group that thinks “precision bombing” is hitting anywhere in the correct zip code. Take that, 02139! Your insolence has not gone unnoticed.
And what did a single Swede do that set off Al Qaeda on his whole country? He drew a cartoon of Mohammed. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
The cartoon showed Mohammed as a “Roundabout Dog.”
What in the heck is a Roundabout Dog? It’s a Swedish guerilla art phenomenon. Here’s the short version: a few years ago a statue of a dog was placed in the middle of a large roundabout (a.k.a. a rotary or a traffic circle) in Linköping, Sweden. It was there only as ornamentation, a small attempt to beautify a no-man’s land in the drab public space. So of course, one night vandals attacked it and so damaged it that it had to be removed. Take that, creativity.
But then a few days later, a little homemade wooden dog appeared in its place. Some anonymous folk artist snuck it out there to replace the destroyed dog. And then another dog appeared at a second roundabout. And a third, and a fourth…
One person’s spontaneous reply to wanton destruction became a movement of creativity that soon spread all over Sweden. After a television report on the “rondelhunds” on Spanish TV, the defiant little dogs then spread to Spain. They have now been sighted in Germany and with any luck the little mutts will soon jump the Atlantic and decorate the littered wastelands of our roundabouts as well.
In other words, the Roundabout dog is a symbol of resistance to the idiot vandals of the world who tear down things they could never build themselves. How appropriate.
In the wake of the targeting and silencing of a Danish cartoonist for daring to comment on Islam, a Swedish artist chose to draw a cartoon of Mohammed in the form of a symbol of creative defiance to destruction.
So now the vandals are threatening Ikea.
Yeah, let’s hand these people an entire country to run. We’ll all be safer then. ExileStreet
First appeared at Human Events
copyright
2007 Mac Johnson
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