Home | Notes
Contributors
Archives | Search
Links | About
contact:
editor@ExileStreet.com
..........

Ralph Peters
Latest

Looking for Trouble: Adventures in a Broken World
Ralph Peters

..........

Julia Gorin

Clintonisms
by Julia Gorin

..........

Wounded Warrior
Please Help Those
Who Protect Us

..........

Burt Prelutsky

The Secret of Their
Success
by Burt Prelutsky
..........

.........

Burt Prelutsky

Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco
by Burt Prelutsky
..........

..........

Contributors
Michael Levine - Contributor

Michael Levine is the founder of the prominent public relations firm Levine Communications Office in Los Angeles. He is the author of 15 books. www.LCOonline.com - E-mail:mlevine@LCOonline.com [go to Levine index]

The Most Charming Man Ever
Cary Grant's lesson of grace and style…
[Michael Levine] 2/21/05

In recorded history, there have been people who used their natural charm to seduce the opposite sex, to acquire great riches, to gain fame or power. There have been people who used their charm as a weapon, and those who used it as a salve. Some incredibly successful people used charm to convince others of their position on politics, business, or achievement.

But there has never, ever been anyone more charming than Cary Grant.

The absolute template for charm in the twentieth century, Cary Grant wasn't the most versatile actor who ever lived, although his talents were often underrated. He was not skilled in the way that a contemporary like Spencer Tracy was and he was not lusted after in the same way as other male leads like Clark Gable or Errol Flynn were (although many women, and men, pined for Grant). He was nominated once for an Academy Award, and lost. It wasn't, in fact, until decades after he retired that Grant was awarded an honorary Oscar for his enduring legacy and the breadth and length of his career.

But my goodness, he was charming.

Grant was seen as the pinnacle of grace and charm, luring much younger costars such as Audry Hepburn, Eva Marie Saint, and Grace Kelly. Men wanted desperately to be like Grant, because it would mean that women would find them irresistible.

While he does not fit the same profile as today’s male superstars, measuring Grant’s impact on American culture (indeed, popular culture around the world) would be impossible. He was more than an actor. He was an icon, an example. Grant, simply speaking, was charm.

How did he do it? Cary Grant began life as Archie Leach in Bristol, England, in 1904. After a rough childhood, during which his mother was committed to a mental institution by his alcoholic father, Archie gravitated toward the theater, beginning as an acrobat in a traveling troupe and eventually ending up in films as early as 1931.

It didn't take long for the Cary Grant persona to crystallize, however. Grant polished his image to a fine sheen in films like Mr. Lucky, The Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, and Alfred Hitchcock's Suspicion. He was always tall and handsome, he always had the clipped accent that was eventually construed as "upper class," and he was never anything other than courteous.

How did this manifest itself in his public persona? On-screen, Grant was always fair, always listened to the women he was wooing, dressed elegantly (even when he didn’t need to), and was the very picture of consideration and courtesy.

In North by Northwest (1959), Grant explains his philosophy of romance to Eva Marie Saint: "Every time I meet an attractive woman, I have to pretend I have no interest in making love to her," he says. Why? "She might find the idea objectionable." Now that's polite.

Grant was an approachable ideal, the kind of persona that invited audiences to sit down and talk, not to stand back and admire. That is extremely important in the business of charming your way to the top. If someone merely admires your skills and talents, that person is more likely to envy you than to feel charmed.

Why was Grant so convincing in the role he chose to play? Because he had trained himself, from a very early age, to understand what other people wanted from him, and to deliver it whenever it was possible. Making the other person feel comfortable is key. Instead of standing back and watching you go through your paces, the other person should feel that he has been the object of most of the attention. People love the sound of their own names, and they want to feel that you consider them important. Gary Grant had that ability, even with his impressive physical and artistic gifts to project the image of a “regular guy” who would be happy to sit down and listen to your life story, rather than bore you with his own.

In his action roles like Gunga Din (1939) and Charade, Grant made male audience members comfortable by not being larger than life and making them feel inferior; on the contrary, Grant played the roles with flaws, clumsiness, and difficulties, to better help them feel they could easily do the same things as the man on the screen, perhaps better.

As well respected and liked as Cary Grant was, he was not a pushover. In fact, the most important lesson we can learn from his charming ways is how to say "no" to someone and still have him or her like you afterward.

Once, when an interviewer suggested that "everybody would like to be Cary Grant" the man himself countered, "so would I."

Now that's charming. tOR

copyright 2005 Michael Levine

§